Some Fun Mixed in with the Blleegghhh

Remember when I posted that the stuff the doctor gave me made the morning sickness so much better? Oh, that seemed so long ago...and it appears it was a lie. I still feel like poo pretty much all the time. Very little vomiting, very much feeling like I need to. I can't stand the smell of our bathroom anymore, so I always keep the window open. Thank goodness it's summer. However, I don't envy anyone who happens to be walking outside that window when my husband has one of his half hour 'sessions' in there. I should look and make sure there isn't a collection of dead wildlife lying out there. Anyway, I was getting to the fun, right?

We had our first ultrasound today. Wow. He (or she) was moving all over the place and we saw the tiny flickering heartbeat. It was pretty amazing. The enormous dildo they had to shove in my business to see the baby was not amazing, but it was worth it. We also were able to hear the heartbeat on the doppler even though the doctor said it was probably too early. Hah! Take that, Doubting Doc!

My due date is January 19th, which just happens to be my 30th birthday. I was always worried I'd freak out about turning 30, but it looks like I'll have more important things on my mind, like shoving something out of my vagina. That should properly distract me.

So there it is. Some happy news. I am still feeling poopy, which explains the lack of updates (and my lack of getting caught up on all the wonderful blogs I love). It also explains why I never see my friends anymore, I don't read books and I pretty much spend my time eating and laying in the recliner watching back to back episodes of Without a Trace. I am hoping to join the land of the living again soon. I am about 10 weeks along, so hopefully only a few more weeks of this.

A Hunger Like No Other

The morning sickness has eased a bit, thanks to my doctor and his suggestion to take some over the counter motions sickness medicine. Although I am not feeling even close to 100%, it's so much better than the 'I want to die' feeling I had just a week ago that it's pretty easy to deal with. I still complain, of course, and there are still plenty of moments where I just want to cry, but it is better. And that's something.

What I don't understand is how I can be so ravenously hungry all the time. This is a hunger like I have never experienced and I can only imagine it must be similar to the hunger someone who hasn't eaten if four days would be experiencing. Here is how a typical day goes for me:

7:30 am: Must take motion sickness drug.
7:31 am: Must eat now or am going to die. DIE! Eat bowl of cereal.
10:00 am: How can I be hungry again? My stomach is in knots and making noises previously unheard of in a human. Eat a snack.
11:00 am: Is it time for lunch yet? So hungry can barely concentrate. Must have food now.
1:00 pm: Getting hungry again.
2:00 pm: Must eat now or will pass out. Eat snack.
4:00 pm: Time for dinner yet?
5:00 pm: Getting pretty hungry.
5:01 pm: Oh my god, must eat now or will throw up and pass out, all at the same time. No time to cook, no time to throw something in the microwave, must drive through and pick up something high fat and high carb.
6:00 pm: Hungry? Again? You've got to be kidding me.
7:00 pm: Snack.
9:00 pm: I am tired and should go to bed. Must must eat more first.

It's ridiculous. Before I became pregnant, I ate healthy meals. Salads, lean protein, veggies, no fried foods, no refined carbs. It's like my body is rebelling against all of that because ALL I want are refined carbs and fast food. Bread, pasta, rice, cookies, greasy sandwiches, that's all I want. The thought of grilled chicken makes me want to heave. Veggies? Bllleeehhhhh. Though I worried about this for the first few days, my doctor assured me that the baby is mostly living on hormones now and it doesn't matter what I eat. I also worried because I really have no desire to gain 80 pounds during this pregnancy, but sometime yesterday, I just let go. This is what my body wants, for some reason or another. Since I need to eat constantly and am often at the mercy of others, I can't really stick to my South Beach-ish pre-pregnancy way of eating. Now, I'm not saying I'm chucking it all and having potato chips for every meal (mmmmmmmmmm, potato chips), I'm just saying that until I feel better, I won't worry too much about what I'm eating. At least I'm eating and keeping it down instead of heaving it all up again.

So there it is. The thing they never tell you about pregnancy. You hear about the morning sickness and the sore breasts and the peeing and the moods, but do you ever hear about the crazy, out of control eating? I thought women who put on a lot of weight just didn't have any self control. I WAS WRONG!!! They had no choice! If it's between eating that burrito or passing out and vomiting all over yourself, you're gonna choose the burrito!

Anyway. Enough of me bitching about my pregnancy. I'm sure I'll have lots of happy posts full of sweetness and light in the second trimester. I hope.