Pictures 'n Plans

First, here are some newer pictures of me and my big ol' belly. These were taken at about 31 weeks:





I am now closing on 33 weeks. Women actually have babies at this point that are very healthy, though it doesn't look like my little girl has any plans to come out anytime soon. Oh no, she is just getting started causing Mom some 3rd trimester pain. First, there's the heartburn. There seems to be no rhyme or reason to it. I can have a spicy Mexican meal and feel fine all night, then the next night I have a grilled chicken breast and water and get heartburn three hours later. However, I am loving my Tums and I'm sure I can use the Calcium. Then there's the leg cramps and numbness in my feet, mostly when I'm watching television before bedtime. And I'm sorry if this sounds sacriligious, but the baby movement isn't really fun anymore. It ranges from uncomfortable to downright painful sometimes. What the hell is she doing in there?? I can tell you it isn't ballet or gymnastics because she's had the great misfortune to have been created by the two most unathletic people on earth. It will be amazing if she's able to walk without running into numerous objects. I know I can't.

Our last Lamaze class was last night. The girl I want to be friends with was there again and she had on the coat I've always wanted!! It's too bad we never said a word to each other. This does not bode well for our future of being fabulous friends and wardrobe-sharers. Other than the hospital tour we will take on Sunday and a few good breathing tips, I'm not sure how helpful the class was. But I'm still glad we went.

I don't know if this counts as 'nesting', but I'm coming up with all these plans for after the baby is born. I know, ha ha, crazy pregnant lady thinks she'll actually have spare time for projects after having a baby. But I've promised myself I won't be one of those moms who, after her child is born, suddenly does or talks about nothing else but the baby. I will have projects! I will have hobbies! I will!! It will help that I will begin having two afternoons off a week after the baby is born (one of my perks at work). I have grand illusions of this being the baby's naptime (come on, it could happen!) and time for me to A: read B: work on my blog and C: write on my novel. I'd really like to improve the blog. Here are some of my ideas:

1. More pictures. Blogs are just more fun with pictures, aren't they? I need to take more pictures and download them, not just for the blog, but for other things as well.

2. Review Tuesdays. Every Tuesday I'd like to do a review of either a book, a beauty product, a baby product or a recipe I've tried. Two things I love that I never really discuss on the blog is my addiction to high-end makeup and my affection for cooking.

3. At least two or three updates a week. No more of this waiting a month between posts crappola!

4. Come up with some other design than the generic blogger one. Now this will take some doing and probably some help from someone who knows what they're doing. We'll see how that goes.

Anyway, those are the plans. I will now end this long and rambling post before my computer inexplicably shuts off and I lose this entire post, which will lead to screaming, crying and the intense desire to shotgun a bottle of wine. Which I cannot do, so instead I will down a can of Cheez Whiz. Which kinda sounds like fun anyway.

Showers, Lamaze and the Fun Stuff

So, after a bunch of the NON-fun pregnancy stuff (sickness, hemorrhoids, weight gain, lack of wine and did I mention the hemorrhoids?), I got to experience a couple of the fun sides of pregnancy.

First, my shower. It was a wonderful little affair with gifts, cake and games. You have to see this cake:

Well. Never mind. Apparently blogger does not want to post a picture of my damn shower cake. What do you have against Pink Barbie Princess cakes, blogger? What, damn you???

Anyway. It really was a fun afternoon and I got lots of great gifts and it was just a jolly good time to be pregnant.

Our first lamaze class was last week. I didn't know what to expect, but I actually had a good time. We were one of the last couples to walk in (because Kirk would NOT get out of the damn bathroom, like you needed to know that) and I also happened to be one of the only pregnant girls in the room who was wearing heels. So of course one of the first topics of conversation was how we should be wearing flat, comfortable shoes. The only other girl in the room wearing heels and I shared a guilty look and I decided right then and there: I want to be her friend!! When I told Kirk this after the class, he of course thought I was an idiot. But damn if my goal is not to make friends with this heel-wearing chick before our babies are born!

Another good moment was had when we had to go around and say why we were here. Most of the guys had some variation of 'I have to be here' or 'She's making me come', but Kirk actually admitted to the whole class (and to me again afterward) that he wanted to learn more and participate. What a good man! Too bad he cannot take on more of the responsibility...such as the hemorrhoids. I would gladly give up that burden to him.

So we learned how to breathe (imagine, all these 29 years without attending a class on how to breathe!) and we got massages and we accidentally tried to steal another couple's bed pillows because we totally didn't know we were supposed to bring them and thought they were just laying there for our use. Luckily, it was not the couple I want to be friends with.

I am a little over 30 weeks. Sometimes it seems like two months to go is a HUGE amount of time, sometimes I can't believe we'll have a baby in just 10 weeks or less. While I am not yet worried, Kirk obviously has no idea what to do with a baby and I'm considering buying him a doll that he must prove to me he can take care of before he gets to touch the real baby.